Keep It Secret
by Gohan Hug
Summary: What would Cory do if he knew that my eyes had strayed from him? If he knew that they had begun to travel onto his best friend? A tale of what might have been. SxT New chapter up
1. Don't Tell a Soul

Keep It Secret  
  
By GH  
  
Author's Note: Wow. I actually wrote a BMW fic that doesn't involve somebody dying. Freakin Amazing. :P I have no idea where the insparation for this fic came from...blame it on pancakes and gummi worms at 3am. ;)  
  
Keep It Secret  
  
By GH  
  
We are alone. It's just me and him. His intense eyes burn into mine and he places a passionate kiss on my lips. I am no stranger to these moments, nor am I resistant. He holds me and he hugs me and he tells me that he loves me. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and I think of how our lives could have been if we'd just done things differently.  
  
It was different back then, it was so simple. He was the rebel and I was the smart girl. He had no reason to talk to me unless it was through taunting and tormenting. My "boyfriend" was the only thing that linked us.  
  
Yet over the years, he matured. The taunting and tormenting turned into shared jokes and playful teasing. I don't know when it happened, but somehow I began to look at him in a different light. His always long locks began to not seem so unruly and his crooked grin began to make my heart feel lighter. The extreme fanaticism for WWF- while screaming like a madman in the Matthews' living room- became a deep loving and talent for poetry while drinking a cappucino in a cafe.  
  
...But I was tied down. I always had my boyfriend on my arm, my lips on his, and his eyes on mine.   
  
What would Cory do if he knew that my eyes had strayed from himself? That they had begun to focus away from him, and onto his best friend? Onto those locks of hair and that crooked smile? Would he hate me? Would he hate me for the fact that I wished to join Shawn in that cafe? Or would he cry? Cry because he had not seen the signs and recognized my change of heart sooner?  
  
I don't know, and I don't ever want to. Cory is precious to me. He's my best friend...but that's all he'll ever be. I knew that from the moment I first hugged Shawn...the first time we touched, I felt it. That connection that I just can't explain.   
  
The reason I'll never tell Cory is that I can't -I WON'T- hurt him. Shawn has made a promise to me to keep it secret, as has everyone that knows about it. Cory will never find out, and we won't let him.   
  
Why do I find my nights with Shawn to be so fulfilling? Is it the rush from getting away with something I shouldn't be doing? Why Do I do this?!?! WHY?! I'm hurting Cory, who's been nothing but loving and kind to me for as long as I've known him! what do I do?   
  
There are headlights shining through the windows, and immediatley the TV comes on from the remote in Shawn's hand. We untangle ourselves from eachother and sit at opposite sides of the couch (Not too far away though, should my husband suspect anything). Cory walks in with his jacket and some books from the college library. He grins to Shawn and kisses me, not noticing when I pull back too soon.  
  
He believes that Shawn was keeping me company while waiting for him. Oh, if only he knew.   
  
If only he knew. 


	2. A Decision to Make

Keep It Secret Part II

By G.H.

Author's Note: I know it's been a year and half since I wrote this story, but it's been nagging me to complete it. Here it is.

Keep It Secret

We sit on the couch watching TV. There's nothing on; not that I really notice though, because it's no the TV I'm watching. What I'm really focusing on is newly-cut brown hair, soulful green eyes, and a shy smile tugging at lips I'd like to kiss. He looks me in the eyes, intense and solemn. We lean in for a kiss. Closer, closer...and suddenly, I break into giggles. He tickles my side ruthlessly. His face lights up and that smile is simply radiant; I would do anything to see it. He pounces on me again and I half-dodge him. With a crash we land on the floor laughing uproariously. I pull his head towards mine and kiss him, he jerks in suprise but eventually kisses me back.

It's our one-year anniversary of being together...and two weeks past Cory and I's third wedding anniversary. Does part of me regret stringing Cory on like this? Of course, not a doubt. I'm smart, I've always been smart. I've always had the answers to everything and if I didn't have an answer, then I'd find one. But this, this affair, is wrong. My heart tells me it's wrong. Marriage is a sacred vow and I'm desicrating it. My heart breaks Whenever Cory looks at me with such loving or Whenever my baby daughter smiles up to me with joy-filled eyes that I know are Shawn's.

I love Cory, I really do. Truly. But Cory is...he's...a friend. All he'll is is my best friend. After a just two years of marriage life with him became dull. Not even the pace of the City could get us out of our funk. I'd been looking at Shawn for years now, watching him and wondering what it would be like. One night, whilst Cory worked late and Shawn was over helping me, I gave in. As much as I love cory, I love Shawn in a way that my husband can never rival. He was heartbroken after Angela left and searching for someone to fill the hole in his heart. I don't think I have to say that he chose me to fill it.

Cory is loving, kind, and gentle, but can be so vexingly dull sometimes. Shawn, and our entire affair, is dangerous, rebellious, and invigorating. I love them both, but for the life of me I just can't choose. I know that the second Angela comes back from Europe Shawn will be gone again, in her arms instead of mine. 

We've made our way back onto the couch, the TV still blaring meaningless programming. He starts kissing me this time, softly at first, but eventually becoming more needy and passionate. We're about to give into one another when I hear a gasp that is not Shawn's. I hear bags dropping to the floor and glass shatter.

Our heads snap in the direction of the door, where Cory is standing. Grocery bags are dropped at his feet, the broken container leaking onto the tile floor. In a second shawn is off of me and I've straightened myself out. Cory's mouth is opening and closing, much like a fish. His eyes burn angrily into Shawn's, but then they travel to me. I have never seen more betrayal, hurt, and anger than I see on Cory's face right now.

After a moment of awkward silence He finally overcomes his shock and, in a broken voice that tears me inside, asks, "Why?". He looks back and forth between Shawn and I; tears coming down his cheeks. I suddenly notice that my daughter clings to his leg. She's confused; why was Uncle Shawnie kissing Mommy? Why is Daddy crying?

Why?

If I said I had an answer to that, I'd be lying. One of my many, many lies. Cory is boring, sure, but he's kind, gentle, and safe. He'll always be there, waiting for me. Given time, I could grown to love him more, possibly just as much as he loves me. He'll take me back, there's no question. He's safe like that. But Shawn isn't safe. He's exciting and lively, but I know his heart still yearns for Angela.

It comes all down to safety or excitement. And I can't choose.

I love Shawn.

I love Cory.

I love them both.

So why does this have to be so hard? 


End file.
